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God intends married couples to handle money, even challenges with money, to bring them closer together; rather than to separate them. Think of money as
to the relationship, not a wedge that divides.
1. What God says about marriage and handling money is very
from the way most people think.
“‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8).
GOD DESIGNED MARRIAGE
“God said, ‘It is not good for the man [Adam] to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him … For this reason a man will … be united to his wife, and they will become
” (Genesis 2:24).
2. “They are no longer two, but one" (Matthew 19:6).
3. The Lord didn’t give you your spouse to frustrate you; He gave you your spouse to
HUSBAND AND WIFE ROLES
your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
5. Husbands, view every request by your wife as an opportunity to
6. “The wife must
her husband …” (Ephesians 5:33)
The husband’s greatest need is to be respected, and the wife’s greatest need is to be loved. When the husband loves his wife, her natural response is to respect her husband. And when the wife respects her husband, his natural response is to love his wife.
7. The wife is to
her husband. “God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper [woman] suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18).
8. The wife should submit to her husband“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is
of the wife as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:22).
For the husband to be the head of the wife doesn’t mean that he’s superior. It simply means that husbands and wives have different God-given roles.
Financial Decision Making
9. When the husband and wife are making a financial decision:
- If both are in strong agreement, go for it.
- If one is ambivalent about the decision and the other feels strongly about it, go with the one who feels strongly.
- If they cannot agree and both feel strongly about their position, or neither feels strongly, we
for the Lord’s guidance.
- If a decision must be made quickly, and they don’t have unanimity, the husband is head of the home and should make the decision.
Leave and Cleave
When you marry and leave your parents you’re to honor them and seek
their advice, but you are no longer to be dependent upon them. You are
to shift your emotional and financial dependence to your spouse.
“A man shall
his father and mother, and cleave to his wife” (Mathew 19:5).
THE ONE ANOTHERS
There are 40 verses in the New Testament describing how to relate to “one another”. These verses don’t apply exclusively to marriage, but they do apply to marriage. When couples practice these relational truths, it radically improves their marriage.
In the following verses, substitute your spouse’s name in place of where the verse says “one another.”
“Live in harmony with one another” (Romans 12:16).“…let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (Romans 14:19).
“Accept one another, just as Christ accepted you” (Romans 15:7)."Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2).“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).“Do not lie to one another” (Colossians 3:9).“Comfort one another…” (1 Thessalonians 4:18).“Encourage one another” (Hebrews 10:25).“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8)."Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit; but with humility of mind regards one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
A good way to practice the one anothers is to focus on one each week as a couple. Together try to live out that one, as fully as possible.
Download the The One Anothers Full List
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THE FOUNDATION IS IN PLACE
When the husband and wife are living their marriage as God designed
it, the foundation is in place for financial unity and great
communication. Remember, God intends married couples to handle money,
even challenges with money, to bring them closer together; rather than
to separate them.
After each session, there are optional items you may complete that will improve your marriage and your finances. There is a scripture to memorize, questions to answer, and a helpful practical financial exercise to complete.
SCRIPTURE TO MEMORIZE
Husbands: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
Wives: “The wife must respect her husband…” (Ephesians 5:33)
QUESTIONS TO ANSWER
1. Read Matthew 19:5. “A man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife.”
3. Husbands, read Ephesians 5:22-23. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”
4. Wives, read Genesis 2:18. “God said, ‘It is not good for the man [Adam] to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him … For this reason a man will … be united to his wife, and they will become one.”
THE PERSONAL FINANCIAL STATEMENT
Complete the personal financial statement to get a picture of your
current financial situation. This is the first step in getting a grasp
on your finances. It’s not necessary to be precise to the penny; rather,
estimate the value of each asset and the amount of each debt. We
recommend that you revise your personal financial statement once a year
to help you keep abreast of your progress.
Download the Personal Financial Statement